Page dated 11/15/00

I dreamt I was hired as a teacher. It seemed to be IJN Elementary. It didn’t look like it but John Baker was there as the principal. I felt fraudulent. I wanted to confess to him I was not certified but every time I tried to do that, something would prevent it. I asked another teacher which grade I would be teaching. She didn’ know. I helpd in the hunt for a skate guard and I was the one who found it right away. It was clear and hidden in plain sight on the inside edge of a hanger laying out in the open on the ground. I was nervous. I woke up.

Dreamer’s comment: Another old dream… well 16 years. Evidently I was not feeling confident in whatever I was doing. Although I achieved a positive outcome, it seems I was not qualified to pursue it which made me anxious. Wish I could remember what was going on in my life in November of 2000. You know what they say… Don’t look back!!

 

Page dated 8/7/00

#1  Something about a tower being built by two men out of what looked liked puzzle pieces.  The outside looked like cow skin – spotted black on white.  It was next to a church steeple.  They were trying to go that high.  It collapsed in on itself and the two men working on it fell with it.  No one was hurt I don’t think.

#2  Something going on onstage.  A competition – adults and children- performing individually and as teams.  One act had small babies in it each painted a primary color it seemed.  I was downstairs from the stage.  At one point someone had taken all the spoons from the drawer on stage and brought them down to feed the babies.  There was a girl performing on stage who would need the spoons in her act.  Part of the performance required her to dry the dishes and put them away.  As she put the other silverware away, she would slam each piece into the drawer trying to tell whoever took the spoons to bring them back.  I felt like I may have been the girl slamming the silver performing.  I also felt like I was above her watching.  But I was also at the same time entrusted with the care of all the babies.  I was in a room downstairs with each baby in a carriage.  I was trying to keep each baby in motion a little so they would remain quiet and sleep and wishing the person on stage (me?) would quit making so much noise slamming the silverware.  I woke up.  (I think this new age spirituality – this Neal Donald Walsch stuff for example – this whole movement – I think that is just like religion.  Each wants to give you the rules for living “properly” – ie. mediate, eat right, don’t smoke, go to church on Sunday, blah, blah, blah – these are all wonderful examples of personal religion.  It works for the person or group who thought it up and organized it.  Little bits of each work for me, but I have my own relationship with the God within me – I listen to Him and since I’ve learned to listen to Him I let Him be my guide.  No one else.  I am happy basically.  So I am perfect just the way I am.  God is with me..  is me… just as I am  I need do nothing.)

Dreamer’s comments – #1 is so interesting in that there is a “tower” being built in competition with a church steeple…. (of puzzle pieces presumably made of new ideas)   #2… Also kind of a reflection of all the “stuff” that is out there trying to sell us on “the right way” to live.. to find peace, etc.  So many babies…  so many new ideas being put forth…  To listen to all would create chaos and confusion when the answer is always right inside. 

Page dated 8/6/00

I dream I am upstairs at a luncheon type affair with the people from the Health Department – Terry Stone, Deb Lacher, etc.  Afterwards, we are supposed to go downstairs to some sort of dance I think.  There is a space of time between the two and there is a place where there are cots set up and some are planning on a nap.  I want a nap but need my blankets.  I go downstairs.  It feels like Im looking for or waiting for someone special to show up.  They aren’t there.  I get my blankets and find a cot and curl up in the fetal position and go to sleep.  I wake up in that position feeling good.

Dreamer’s Comments:  Evidently I have unfulfilled expectations around work but seem basically unconcerned in the end as I am able to sleep and when I wake up I feel rested and not in the least upset.  Interesting. 

Page dated 8/3/00

#1- I am at the beach again.  David Carucci owns a hotel property there I think.  Every calendar has a different year on it so I can’t figure out what actual day it is.   Do know it’s near the end of August.  It feels sort of chaotic.  August 28 I think.  (I wonder if this has anything to do with the move)

#2 – I tell Jayson I will come back to work part time but I don’t know if I want to.  I have email from him to log on and I put him off until next week as I don’t want to read on the net anymore.  I may be missing out as I notice he has some of his readers managng sites.  I probably could too.  I don’t want to.

#3 – I see a dead man standing in front of an old sports car – like a 50’s type T-Bird – behind a split rail fence.  I had the sense he was either a car enthusiast or maybe died in a crash.  In front of the fence are two youngsters.  The man is pointing down at them as if to say he is watching over them.

#4 – I see a spinning cylinder.  Paper money was fed under it and then whipped out the other side as if to say that money went as fast as it came but it all sat on a platform of money so I felt like there was savings of some sort but it was not growing right now due to unexpected expenses.

#5 – I see a swiftly moving river and someone trying to swim upstream – struggling – I want to yell at them to float.  To go with the flow and quit struggling.  They will go over the falls but then all will be calm.

Dreamer’s comments:  #1 just indicates major chaos to me.  #2 happened in reality.  I at one time did do readings for a major site on the internet and I did terminate my contract although  I don’t recall it being in that fashion.  #3 – no clue, a message for you maybe???  #4 – an omen of what was to come.  #5  Ditto with me as the swimmer learning the hard way!

Page dated 8/2/00

(2:00 a.m. It is fucking hot and sticky!)

Dream

I watched a girl dressed like Bo-Peep – hoop skirts, visored bonnet, etc. – jump in the ocean to swim.  A huge fish comes…  looks like a dolphin but bigger – to play with her.  Some men come and caught the fish thinking she was in danger (their reason).  She wasn’t in danger.    She was playing.  I noticed another man standing on the shore just watching also.  The men were going to kill and gut the fish.  I felt very sad.  I didn’t want them to do that but I seemed to be in spirit and could not be heard.  No one would listen to the girl   I could also see a boat and a beach.  I was sort of high up looking down on the scene.

Dreamer’s comments:  Have you ever had flying dreams…  I’m thinking this was one of those….  Those are generally my favorites and I remember them vividly but I didn’t remember this one.

Page dated 8/1/00

Back to the kitchen counter with my vaguely familiar visitor.  I am doing the talking now.  It seems I have questions —  So is it okay to be angry or not?  Those who I have read or heard preach peace and love say no – can’t do it.  I’ve heard others say “express it!  It’s the healthy thing to do!  Can I get angry and express it and still get to heaven?  I begin to laugh.  So does my visitor.  We both recognize that is a ludicrous question.  I continue …  Is it possible to express anger without negatively affecting someone else?  Can’t anger be a positive thing?  If I spend too much time on the positive end of the scale – won’t I be out of balance?  (more laughter)  If we are all one, doesn’t that include everyone on both sides of the scale.  (We are on a roll now.)  So what is it that makes one better than the other?    My visitor speaks….  it’s best to just be.  Do the best you can with what you’ve got and don’t worry about the rest, or whether you are living right.  There is no way to live wrong.  Just be.  Two things that can cause a backstep are worry and regret.  Both of these emotions take place out of the present and are not valid.  They take you to somewhere where something has already happened (oops too late!) or someplace where everything will turn out fine as long as you trust.  Replace worry with trust.  Just be.  Forgiveness is new life every time.  We’ll save forgiveness for another time, but consider replaceing any anger you might feel with forgiveness.

I wake up refreshed and knowing I’m okay.  That I am perfect as I am.  That everyone else is too!  (I can choose my feelings instead of letting my feelings choose me.)

No comments.

 

Page dated 7/31/00

I am back at my kitchen counter where I teach only this time I have a visitor I have never met before who is doing the talking.  There is a vague familiarity about this “presence”.  It is comfortable and I “get” that it is important for me to listen….   I make sodas and “feel” the words flow through me…  Every relationship is there for a reason…  whether we know the reason…  it is important to recognize that there IS a reason and that the reason has a purpose which is preordained most likely.  And it is important to have faith in the relationship, to bless it, to flow with it and to let go of any resistance that may arise within the relationship.  Everything will work out to the advantage of all in this manner.  All lessons will be learned.  Insights will be had and LOVE will bloom.  (LOVE = God = power = truth = faith.  Have faith that all is as it should be because there is no way that it isn’t!)

Dreamer’s comments:  I’m thinking this is the first time this kitchen counter may have come up in this blog.  It recurs periodically in my dreams and usually is connected with lessons… sometimes I am teacher and sometimes I am student.  I may have been experiencing difficulties with someone around me at the time of this dream which is possibly what prompted it.  I do know good advice always flows back and forth across that counter!

Page dated 7/30/00

I dream of a sea wall.  It goes as far as the eye can see.  People are lined up against it, me included.  I am trying to get a place next to “the girls”, Katie and Debbie and such.  Behind me on the other side of the sea wall are “book shelves” – thousands of them – all empty.  A man is measuring the people to see how many can fit on a shelf.  (This is all about picking Abby’s friends – or so it would seem/feel like.  It seems to me I’ve been dwelling on how “bad” she is and metaphysically speaking it would be better to dwell on how “good” she is.  Time for a new view.  I’m beginning to think all this “spiritual” new age stuff is crap!  That’s something when you consider I’ve been “into it” for probably 30 years.  It’s just another religion in the end (someone else’s rules!)  What I really believe in is what’s in MY heart.  Therein lies truth.  At least MY truth.  Therein lies love.  Therein lies power.  Therein lies God.  Interesting.  Took me half a lifetime – possibly more depending on when I kick – to “get” that!)

Dreamer’s comment:  This whole dream is such an interesting one for me to come across today.  I am reading a book that encourages me to think about God as I know Him/Her/???.    In my life I have spouted so many theories on this very subject.  Now this begs a very personal question…  how do I know God???  Not in theory, but personally.  Great path to wander down!

Page dated 7/29/00

Some dream about passing out books…

Dreamer’s comment:  Not much,  huh?  Especially since I did that constantly….  gave away books.  If I found a book I liked, I would go back and buy lots of copies just so I could give them out to friends I thought might benefit from or enjoy them.  Something that made me laugh recently was my daughter moved to Memphis and she is a great garage saler…  last time she was home she brought me a big stack of books she’d picked up at those sales, many of which I had read and given away in a previous lifetime.  Who says things don’t come back to you!!!!  The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree!

Page dated 7/26/00 – O.C., Md. Snippets

#1 – Something about books – choosing and reading I think.

#2 – Something about riding a bike down a narrow path that passed many houses in a row on the left – fence on the right – gathering friends – ending at the beach I think – but not a commercial beach.

#3  Something about spending time decorating/redecorating house.

Dreamer’s comments:  I read these little “snippets” and I think 
cozy.  That’s about it!