Tag Archives: acceptance

Page dated 1/31/99

“teacher” appeared at the kitchen counter. Said life is a cycle. It moves in cycles (up/down). It is like this until it’s not. It will keep going from one extreme to another. Holding self at the fulcrum point, allows for both polarities to exist harmoniously (balance). This puts you above so you can see both. That is where acceptance fits in. It is important to accept that the two polarities can exist at one time. This is what allows you to exist at the fulcrum – at the point of tension – and releases you from the up and down of things. It allows me to be here physically but still be in touch with my eternal self. The minute that I accept, or allow it to be that way, emotional swings will cease. Everything will cease. Bottom line is to allow it to be that way until it isn’t.

Dreamer’s comment: So interesting that I should receive this message in 1999. It is 15 or more years later now. I’ve had many experiential life lessons since then. I can definitely see the truth in this although I’m certain at the time I did not understand. I was dreaming that life is just a dream and not at all real in the way that real is customarily defined.

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2/14/15 Dream

I saw all these face parts floating around with big spaces between them. It reminded me of a Dali painting in a way. All there but some too big, some too small and none of them in the right place. Then this big nut and bolt floated into the scene. And in my mind, I began to command the pieces to go to the places one would usually find them… mouth at the bottom, eyes at the top, nose in the middle, etc. When they got there, I commanded this bolt to stay them in place and it stuck down into the top of the head and the nut twisted on somewhere and then I had a whole face. My thought then was “I’ve created a monster” because the pieces were recognizable but still asymmetrical.

Dreamer’s comments: What does it mean? There are two things that seem to dominate my waking thought processess these days. The first is – the first book I’ve ever written is now at the publishers and I am anxious to see how that fares. The second is a group of women I’ve had a 50+ year affiliation with who seem to be drifting apart or who don’t seem to ‘mesh’ as they used to. As much as I’d like to think the book will be a monster (in a good way), I’m more inclined to think this has something to do with the latter. I’m feeling responsible due to the fact that I don’t seem to be able to enjoy the group as I used to. I come home from meetings feeling like I no longer fit. Like in this dream, I feel asymmetrical, which in itself does not bother me. We are all different now, having been through lives quite different from one another. This to me adds tapestry to the group, a richness of color and texture that only living an individual life can lend to the group as a whole. There does seem to be one who does not particularly care for the tapestry I’ve added as an individual and finds ways, some subtle, some not so much, to disapprove or show displeasure with my contributions. I don’t understand why my contributions are being rejected and want to pull my threads out before someone else does. Doing so would probably leave a hole that needed mending and raise the objections of every other contributor. So what do I do with that? The solution seems to be this big ‘bolt’ that draws everything into it’s proper place and holds it together. I feel like this ‘bolt’ is accepting the contributions of each, no matter what they may look like, and recognizing the richness and interest that each piece adds. I see this as my responsibility. I cannot change the color of one person’s stripes, but I can accept them for what they are. I will choose to do so.

Page dated 4/14/01

I was driving Jaimee (abby’s friend?) to an important meeting up a ramp.  We sat in a restaurant.  I saw something I liked.  She told me to talk to a woman who just bought it.  I think Joe was embarrassed.    Anyways, this lady was very ebullient.  She stood up and modeled a long sweater to her knees.  It had no sleeves and the arm holes were so big they were down to her waist nearly (I think) and to the middle of the front.  I didn’t want it anymore though she didn’t seem to mind it.  I saw a flower pot with a broken flower pot inside.  I recognized the broken one as my favorite.  I was a little sad but okay.  I woke up.

Dreamer’s comment:  In a way I wonder if this is a precognitive dream in that I was given a sweater by Abby’s friend that went to my knees…  I wore it once but didn’t really like how it fit and ended up giving it to another woman who admired it.  I thought the lady I gave it to was a friend (outside pot) but turned out to be not such a good friend after all (broken pot) and I was sad but oh well…  what can I do about it?  It is sad and I feel bad but some people are just like that…..  Gotta just let them be.

Page dated 9/10/96

I am beckoned into a room – I can’t describe how but I know it’s okay to go and I feel this great curiosity about it.  I really cannot see inside, it seems gray and foggy but as soon as I step in it seems as though I have stepped into a rainbow of feelings.  The best way I can describe it is that bands of emotions or feelings circle and swirl around everything and it is very easy to get caught up in the “vortex” of one or another.  Somehow it is communicated to me, or somehow I just know, that the way out of one of these swirls is just to “accept” it as it is and not struggle and I seem to hear a faint whisper that tells me “everything is perfect just as it should be”.  I begin to fly freely about on these bands as they take on colors and look like ribbons that I can feel more than see and I begin to understand that for me red is uncomfortable, I feel anger for what I don’t know, and I am close to depression…  I want to get out of this and remember to just let it be and find myself wandering closer into a pinkish/orange color which feels sort of “sour”.  Although it is not really uncomfortable, there is nothing substantial here…  i am mesmerized by a bright golden light I see off in the distance and move towards it…  I feel like it pulls me in, and would run right through me and out the other side if I directed it to.  I want to stay here…  it is warm and inviting and comfortable.  Off to the side I see flashes of purple that intrigue me.  I’m trying to decide if I want to move from this place that feels so “right” and go explore…  I wake up because the cat has jumped on my head and wants to be fed.

Written on the page but not part of the dream I have noted that it seems that all colors were needed to make up the whole….  and “ACCEPT”   I was in charge.  Those colors would do whatever I told them to.

Dreamer’s comment:  After this dream I remember I would sometimes “feel” people in color when I met them if that makes any sense.  

 

Page dated 2/11/95

There was a wonderful man.  I think I was Chinese looking.  We were moving into a new apartment.  I was a mystic, or a healer, or something.  I had him draw a card from a deck with beautiful pictures.  He drew one with a hill, a diamond shape and sun rays.  (on the page I have actually drawn a crude illustration of this  —  it looks like three small connecting hills or “bumps” – rising from the center of these I have drawn a diamond shape like on a playing card – and shooting from the top half of the diamond are lines that would represent sun rays – sorry don’t  know  how to do that in the middle of text)  When he drew it, the same sign appeared luminous behind him and I knew he was “THE ONE”.

Then we were at a parade or something.  It got very dark.  We were uptown but the post office was on a hill with cement stairs leading up to it.  There was a great national calamity – like a giant earthquake – and there were a lot of small fires.  I knew “HE” was out being helpful.

I was handed the headless dead body of a small maroon colored rabbit.  I cradled it lovingly.  A girl brought me a shoebox to put the body in.  I couldn’t because I knew she would throw it then in a trash heap.  I felt a lot of love and compassion for the small furry body and then that extended out to include everything.  I KNEW that even though I was surrounded with fear and crying and devastation that things were going and happening exactly as they were supposed to.

Further written on this page but not part of the dream – (This was a wonderful dream.  I did not want to wake up.  I felt so good.  So fulfilled.  so wonderful, so insightful and all these words still do not describe how I felt.  I want to be back there!)

Dreamer’s comments:  I remember this dream and how good I felt.  I remember going to work and telling a couple  of friends about it.  I remember one friend who totally “got it” and one who thought I was a little bit “psycho” I think.  LOL!   And maybe I am.  Let me ask you this…  what if dreams are the real deal, and “life” is the dream????  What then?   It seems to me that this was a dream that taught acceptance of “what is”.